Lapsang Souchong - acquired taste or just vile?

I love tea. I love tea in the way that most British people love tea: from a bag, in a mug, with milk and sugar. I know that will garner involuntary sneers from some quarters. I love all the 'proper' tea too, I love the gentle infusions and the beautiful flowering teas. I love the quality tea. But none of that will stop me loving tea the way I first had it. The way I fell in love with it.

I try all the varieties I can, and I find something to love about each one. Maybe not at first, sometimes you need to try a few combinations or brands. In order to truly appreciate tea, you must experience them all yourself. It was with this in mind that I previously drank teapots full of Lapsang Spouchong. Not because I love it, but to be absolutely sure that there was no hidden beauty. Smoky tea? Who did this? Was it some kind of accident? Revenge? Because this is not natural, this is by design.

Here is a theory...

A long time ago in a land just round the corner from where you grew up, there were two young lovers. Like all lovers in stories they were entirely and irrationally besotted with each other. The young man even found his lover's heavy smoking adorable. They would sip delicious teas in cafes and gaze into each others eyes as they planned their future between kisses.

But then, tragedy struck. As tragedy is wont to do. The lady love fell down a well and died. Oh no! Her paramour was beside himself. He would do anything to have her back again. But of course it was impossible.

He spent his days in cafes trying to recreate the magic they had once shared with a tea in one hand and a cigarette in the other. At first it was enough just to have it smoking in the ash tray beside him, but soon he was taking long drags of it. Before he knew it he was stirring in great heaped spoonfuls of ash, searching for that dry ashtray quality.

After a concerned family member staged an intervention he was finally stopped, but he was still yearning for her tea and ash kisses. He locked himself away in a lab until he had recreated that vile combination.

He called his tea lapsang souchong and took it with him everywhere. Soon strangers were gazing at his blissful face and asking him what he was drinking that was so delicious. Being a private man he left out the tragedy and told them simply that it was tea of his own creation. Intriguing salesmanship! They were desperate to buy some, buy his price was high. Undeterred they bought it and tried it themselves. It was rancid; absolutely vile. They immediately needed a cup of proper tea because it was so dehydrating. But they'd paid a lot of money, so they kept drinking, and they told everyone who asked (and some who didn't) that it was quite the most delicious thing in the world. And so the cycle continued.

I think it's time we were honest about this racket, don't you?

Breakfast Tea Tray - Traymendous?

Because I spend an awful lot of my time cooing and squealing at tea based miscellanea I managed to get some tea based gifts this Christmas. Oh, and I asked for them. That helped too.

I was very lucky to get some Mrs Bridges tea stuff from my mister's dad. I know he wouldn't have picked it himself, because he's an old school bloke who doesn't 'do' shopping, but it's the thought that counts. No, it's the gift that counts, that's what I mean.

So I got this lovely tray set which doubtless came from Debenhams.

The biscuits alone are absolutely delicious. I've finished the English breakfast tea and I'm afraid I wasn't particularly impressed. The bags were a bit tricky to squeeze an actually decent cup out of, too weak for my tastes, but the biscuits, oh the biscuits were divine! I'm sure the jam is lovely, but I'm not really into jam. Sorry jam fans, you've come to the wrong place. The mugs are quite cute, in a homely sort of way. The kind of mugs I can imagine they would have used in Victorian times if they hadn't had lovely teacups everywhere. You can't really see the tray here, but it's a very light wood, maybe balsawood. There are useful handles on the side that I've tried to explain the use of to the mister. This is a BREAKFAST tray. He's not listening. He's put his stupid face on....